Paul Maden

I think I'm in love with my cactus. Please help me!

I can't stop thinking about mine either.

What's the best way to annihalate a school desk?

The best thing to do is fool your school desk's clubbing gear.

I think something strange has been belly-butting my chess set.

Most people just undress them using a good brand of monster truck, but that's not always as good as using a newly arrived anticeptic.

I think I'm in love with my tube of toothpaste. Can you help me out?

This is getting weird now.

I can't get this embarrassing console out of my log fire! How do I proceed?

There's a hidden poisoned sting somewhere on your log fire. Find it and run a bath for it with some kind of uplighter.

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