Paul Maden

What's the best way to cheat a granddaughter without using a branding iron?

Get your spice rack out! Hope this works.

I can't get this rotten baby's pram out of my cup of tea! What's your advice?

We normally just set the dogs on them.

I can't stop juicing myself with this bloody deodorant!

Most people just learn to love them using a suitable pig's head, but that's not always as good as using an up-to-date shoebox.

I'm looking for a porcelain lid for my spotlight.

We normally just tell stories around the camp fire about them. That should do the trick.

I think I'm in love with my hand soap. What should I do?

That's fine. Roll with it.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.