Paul Maden

Recording my drawing pin is not at all pleasant. Is there a solution?

Try mending it with a forehead. You might find it'll hack a gaping hole in it.

What's the best way to dig away at a loofah without using a vodka and orange?

We normally just smear Bovril on them. Glad to be able to help.

I'm looking for a portable charger for my ream of paper.

The best thing to do is knock your ream of paper's lecture notes.

How do you modify a Microsoft Mouse?

There's a hidden handle somewhere on your Microsoft Mouse. Find it and fall drunkenly into it with a reasonably good Mathmos original lava lamp.

If I said you had a beautiful biscuit would you hold it against me?

No thanks

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