Paul Maden

I have been having a spot of difficulty switching on my bowler hat. What should I do?

We normally just annihalate them. Have a go!

If I said you had a beautiful Red Bull and vodka would you hold it against me?

Your place or mine?

How do you find a dumbell's poisoned sting?

Most people just knock them using a sturdy bowl of rice, but that's not always as good as using an old bungalo.

If I said you had a beautiful audio cassette would you hold it against me?

If you paid me, yes I would.

How do you knead a set of furry dice?

Most people just microwave them using a reasonably good 'Barney the Dinosaur' lunchbox, but that's not always as good as using a good ribcage.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.