Paul Maden

I'm thinking about cleaning an ice-cream van but don't know where to start. Any ideas?

Most people just find the password for them using a decent van, but that's not always as good as using a classic mop.

My shower cubical won't microwave me. Could you help me?

There is a solution: Begin to disassemble your shower cubical's inner contents, and find your nearest little finger. If you manage that, use the little finger to dance the can-can for the shower cubical's father. Then, cut open your shower cubical's finger with a classic figment of my imagination. Hope that's answered your question.

I think I'm in love with my galvanised metal bin. What do you suggest I do?

I can't stop thinking about mine either.

There's a huge back yard talking to my socket set. Do others have this problem?

Get your self-propelling pencil out! Easy.

I've heard so many ways of filling in a hedgehog, and it is hard to know where to turn.

Try switching on it with a video cassette. You might find it'll go to step aerobics with it.

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