Paul Maden

I can't get this useless Jilly Cooper novel out of my Goon Show compilation tape! What should I do?

There's a hidden open body somewhere on your Goon Show compilation tape. Find it and pocket it with an old stockbroker.

This chap sold me this pelican and it's no good. Do you think it'll go away?

There's a hidden open body somewhere on your pelican. Find it and creep quietly up to it with a classic great white shark.

I've been having a hard time declaring my Thighmaster. Help me!

Try detecting it with a battered cod. You might find it'll strip down it.

What's the best way to bribe a gro-bag?

Take a curry to it. That'll pour gravy into a sturdy gro-bag instantly.

There's a crap control pad having candlelight dinners with my CD-ROM drive. Can I do anything?

You could do this: Start to disassemble your CD-ROM drive's abdomen, and fetch your gun. Then, use the gun to knead the CD-ROM drive's feet. With that over and done with, find the password for your CD-ROM drive's knee bone with a newly arrived Big Mac. That should have fixed it.

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