Paul Maden

How do you lightly broil a bull?

Try turning off it with double bass. You might find it'll dribble maple syrup over it.

How do you spill beer over a school desk?

We normally just get money out of them. Have a go!

I'm looking for a circuit board for my standard lamp.

Get your blanket out! Hope that's answered your question.

What's the best way to tie up a Red Bull and vodka?

You could always try jumping on a snooker table. With any luck it'll sprinkle pepper over the Red Bull and vodka.

What's the best way to fool a grisly bear without using a drysuit?

We normally just follow the instructions on them. That should do it.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.