Paul Maden

This b*stard sold me this trumpet and it's a disgrace. How do I lose the thing?

There's a hidden mothership somewhere on your trumpet. Find it and paralyse it with a modern PC.

I think I'm in love with my biro. Do you have any suggestions?

This is randomness at its most bizarre, isn't it?

How do you set a pack of dogs on a dragonfly?

Get your Elvis constume out! Glad to be able to help.

How do you find a Sega Megadrive's soft underside?

Whatever you do, don't hack into it. You've got to run a bath for it first.

Some con-man sold me this bloody insect and it's totally rank. How do I proceed?

Get your spade out! That should do nicely.

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