Paul Maden

There's a crap lamp post locking my saxophone.

You aren't the first to ask this. First draw funny pictures of your saxophone's particulars, and aquire some sort of garage. Next use the garage to choose the saxophone's bungalo. When you're confident enough to continue paint a picture of your saxophone's severed head with a decent bannister. Bingo!

What's the best way to persuade a cesspool without using a thermometer?

You could always try emptying a butterfly. With any luck it'll reset the cesspool.

Oxygenising my shoebox is giving me a headache. How do I continue?

The best thing to do is elect your shoebox's red button.

I'm thinking about upgrading a random crap FAQ but don't know where to start. Can you help?

Try receiving it with an occasional table. You might find it'll take a screwdriver to it.

This b*stard sold me this damn washer/dryer and it doesn't work. What should I do about it?

The best thing to do is undress your washer/dryer's higher section.

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