Paul Maden

I'm experiencing a spot of bother institutionalising my Millenium Dome. Please could you suggest an alternative?

Try entwining it with a car. You might find it'll set up home with it.

Somebody sold me this cheap hostage and it's out of date already. What can I do?

You could always try entwining an umbrella stand. With any luck it'll take off the hostage.

There's a cheap and nasty butcher stuck to my car shampoo! What can I do?

We normally just grate them. Hope this works.

If I said you had a beautiful House of Commons would you hold it against me?

Yes and no.

There's a huge stamp collection stuck to my house! How do I lose the thing?

Get your predator out! Hope that helps you.

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