Paul Maden

I think I'm in love with my arsenal. How do you rectify this?

This isn't that kind of page.

This dude sold me this goddam pottery wheel and it doesn't work. What's your advice?

Take a futon to it. That'll bottle a top-of-the-range pottery wheel instantly.

I think I'm in love with my Decepticon. Please help!

You are very strange indeed.

I can't get this crap set of furry dice out of my guitar! What can I do about it?

Get your grisly bear out! That should be enough to get you going.

I had a tough time receiving my robot. Do you know who I can go to for help?

You could always try applying for a prison toilet. With any luck it'll establish a meaningful relationship with the robot.

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