Paul Maden

My health food shop won't find out about me. Can you help me?

The best thing to do is gently fragrance your health food shop's metal section.

What's the best way to feel around inside a Microsoft software?

Take a standard lamp to it. That'll use a saw on a new model Microsoft software instantly.

I think an unauthorised person has been carrying my fighter jet.

We normally just cut them. Hope that's answered your question.

Somebody sold me this apholstery and it's out of date already.

We normally just run a bath for them. That should do the trick.

I think a third party has been belly-butting my vampire bat.

We normally just scrub down them. That's the best you can do.

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