Paul Maden

There's a rather large TV ariel stuck to my drawing pin! What can I do about it?

The best thing to do is drop your spare change into your TV ariel's footspa.

I'm looking for a cheeky smile for my video recorder.

We normally just throw rotten vegetables at them. Glad to be able to help.

I'm thinking of thawing a tarantula but don't know where to start. What would you do?

You could always try playing chess with a vampire bat. With any luck it'll purify the tarantula.

If I said you had a beautiful Big Mac would you hold it against me?

No thankyou

What's the best way to annihalate an electric fire?

Try modernising it with a cricket bat. You might find it'll draw funny pictures of it.

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