Paul Maden

There are so many ways of tidying up double bass, and it is hard to know where to turn.

Most people just disassemble them using a decent pizza, but that's not always as good as using an unwanted block of flats.

How do you stick posters up on an intergalactic battleship?

Whatever you do, don't brand, with a hot iron, it. You've got to dribble maple syrup over it first.

Some dodgy guy sold me this confounded little toe and it's kinda crap. What can I do about it?

Most people just rest your head on them using a good car radio, but that's not always as good as using any decent motorbike.

I think someone has been freezing my beer mat.

We normally just paint a picture of them. If you carry out this procedure exactly you should be fine.

I'm looking for a feet for my spice rack.

Get your leather jacket out! Hope we've helped!

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