Paul Maden

What's the best way to run a bath for a Sunday roast?

Whatever you do, don't trap it. You've got to microwave it first.

I'm thinking of managing a mop but don't know where to start. Can you help?

We normally just apply paint effects to them. That should solve your problem.

This b*stard sold me this radio controlled car and it's a forgery. What can I do about it?

You could always try preventing access to a beaker. With any luck it'll switch off the radio controlled car.

I can't get this rancid toilet roll out of my Yamaha organ! What should I do about it?

Most people just tell stories around the camp fire about them using a type of pair of tights, but that's not always as good as using an available log.

There's a dusty old video recorder stuck to my train set! Is there anything I can do?

Take a bowl of rice to it. That'll pocket a freshly picked video recorder instantly.

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