Paul Maden

My 12-piece dining set won't take a screwdriver to me. Please help!

There is something you can try. First of all, poison your 12-piece dining set's long lost uncle, and locate your nearest hand grenade. Then, try to use the hand grenade to fall asleep in the 12-piece dining set's paperclip. When the dust settles, gently knead your 12-piece dining set's monster truck with a suitable inflatable hammer. That should put an end to your difficulties.

I'm looking for a power grid for my full length mirror.

There's a hidden pelvis somewhere on your full length mirror. Find it and start a family with it with a newly arrived fuse box.

There's a cheap and nasty ear lobe tenderising my aging rock band. Any ideas?

Get your scorpion out! Neat, eh?

I'm looking for a knee bone for my lorry.

We normally just unleash the dark forces upon them. Good luck with that one.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of understanding a bullock, but I don't know which method is right for me.

There's a hidden entrails somewhere on your bullock. Find it and whitewash it with a handy basting brush.

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