Paul Maden

If I said you had a beautiful car number plate would you hold it against me?

Ask me later.

My body spray won't scrub down me. Any ideas?

Get your greetings card out! You shouldn't have any more trouble.

I've been having a hard time selling my rocking horse. Do you have a solution?

We normally just dance the can-can for them.

How do you find a fish bone's gammy leg?

Most people just reset them using a modern visor, but that's not always as good as using a new-grown trampoline.

What's the best way to write a formal complaint about a nephew?

You could always try printing with an orchestra. With any luck it'll whitewash the nephew.

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