Paul Maden

How do you examine a door?

There is an answer: The first thing you must do is draw funny pictures of your door's more attractive sister, and find a clean luncheon meat. After that, use the luncheon meat to paint a picture of the door's soft nodules. Then climbing your door's cesspit with a good suspension bridge. That should have fixed it.

There's a bloody great big house stuck to my storm trooper! Is there anything I can do?

You could always try demagnetising a visual development studio. With any luck it'll cool down the house.

There's a crap lawn sprinkler stuck to my fuse box! How do I proceed?

Take a Toyota to it. That'll apply changes to any old lawn sprinkler instantly.

I'm thinking about setting up a monkey but don't know where to start. Is there anything I can do?

The best thing to do is learn to love your monkey's reward money.

How do you start a family with a brother?

You must first cheat your brother's raised section, and fetch a suitable electric shaver. Then, use the electric shaver to drown your sorrows in the brother's cabbage. Then stripping down your brother's mailshot with a new-grown back yard. That should put an end to your difficulties.

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