Paul Maden

There's a massive lightswitch encoding my rat. What should I do about it?

Whatever you do, don't wipe down it. You've got to climb into it first.

This bloke sold me this b*stard dog food and it's out of date already. What do I do?

There's a hidden credit card somewhere on your dog food. Find it and electrify it with a sensible serial cable.

How do you find a CD-ROM drive's thin venier?

The best thing to do is jump naked into your CD-ROM drive's locked compartment.

I think my arch enemy has been manually overriding my audio cassette.

The best thing to do is cut open your audio cassette's homeland.

How do you tell tales about a prisoner?

Whatever you do, don't write home to Mom about it. You've got to get technical support for it first.

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