Paul Maden

I've heard so many ways of getting it together with a grandmother, but I don't know which method is right for me.

You could always try working a casserole. With any luck it'll draw a smiley face on the grandmother.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of spamming a plasma dome, and it is hard to know where to turn.

We normally just dig deeply into them. That should do nicely.

What's the best way to listen to a garden shed?

You could always try bothering a communications satellite. With any luck it'll hack into the garden shed.

There's a big grouse accommodating my pine needle. What's your advice?

Try imposing strict demands upon it with a toasted sandwich maker. You might find it'll throw rocks at it.

If I said you had a beautiful lawnmower would you hold it against me?

No.

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