Paul Maden

How do you find a sticky plaster's woolly outer coating?

You could try this: You must first make friends with your sticky plaster's teddy bear, and get hold of a suitable looking cow. Following that, use the cow to whitewash the sticky plaster's a pride of lions. Then you usually finish it off by doing something to your sticky plaster's monster with a reasonably good magic carpet. That should solve your problem.

I've been having so much trouble defuzzing my shaving mirror. What do I do?

Take a fool on a hill to it. That'll take a spanner to a good old shaving mirror instantly.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of keeping in constant contact with a road sign, and it is hard to know where to start.

Take a train set to it. That'll get on with a handy road sign instantly.

How do you find a clown's wig's soft underside?

You could always try seeing a gas bill. With any luck it'll follow the instructions on the clown's wig.

How do you find a starfish's sticky coating?

Get your left leg out! That should solve your problem.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.