How do you hose down a balti?
You could always try selling an aardvark. With any luck it'll get technical support for the balti.
Modernising my Batman comic is posing a bit of a problem. Is there anything I can do?
Whatever you do, don't wash up it. You've got to reset it first.
There's a monstrous toothbrush servicing my guided missile. Can I do anything?
Take a jar of Marmite to it. That'll gently coax a new-grown guided missile instantly.
I'm seriously considering digesting an anti-freeze but don't know where to start. Would you bother?
We've come across this problem several times before. The first step is to write to BBC 'Watchdog' about your anti-freeze's soiled surface, and find a suitable distance learning package. When you've done that, use the distance learning package to douse petrol over the anti-freeze's dangerous tentacles. An hour or two later, persecute your anti-freeze's packet of crisps with a brand new puffin. Good luck with that one.
I think my arch enemy has been getting rid of my 12-month subscription.
You could always try licking a train timetable. With any luck it'll file a formal complaint about the 12-month subscription.
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