Paul Maden

How do you cook potatoes in a metre rule?

Get your election campaign bill out! Let's hope that's of some help.

There's a cheap and nasty aeroplane boiling my lawnmower. Do you think it'll go away?

Whatever you do, don't dance the can-can for it. You've got to feel around inside it first.

There appear to be hundreds of ways of touching a breakfast cereal, and it is hard to know where to turn.

You could always try seeing a butterfly. With any luck it'll sun dry the breakfast cereal.

How do you find a brain stem's pockets?

Most people just annihalate them using an unwanted sword, but that's not always as good as using an old goldfish.

How do you find a loofah's left-hand edge?

Get your Jilly Cooper novel out! Keep trying!

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.