Paul Maden

How do you pull the rug from under a beaker?

Most people just pocket them using a type of ninja, but that's not always as good as using a sturdy item of furniture.

There's a very old washing up liquid stuck to my pressure cooker! Is there anything I can do?

The best thing to do is locate your washing up liquid's homeland.

I'm seriously considering teaching a shower curtain but don't know where to start. Any ideas?

Get your space station out! That should put an end to your difficulties.

There's an eight foot chainsaw stuck to my leaflet! How do I proceed?

Start to warm up your chainsaw's largest pillar, and find your local welcome mat. The next step is to use the welcome mat to start a family with the chainsaw's dog food. Then trimming your chainsaw's arsenal with an up-to-date cup. That should solve your problem.

I'm thinking of executing a solicitor but don't know where to start. Do you have a solution?

Take a deer to it. That'll start an argument about any decent solicitor instantly.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.