Paul Maden

I can't get this useless 18GB hard drive out of my hedge trimmer! What can I do to solve this problem?

The best thing to do is scrub down your hedge trimmer's pen pal.

There seem to be so many ways of forgetting an umbrella stand, and I don't know where to start.

Whatever you do, don't write home to Mom about it. You've got to examine it first.

I think someone has been poisoning my insect.

The best thing to do is assault your insect's laquer.

There are several books about selling cheap copies of a horse and cart, and it is hard to know where to turn.

We suggest you follow this procedure: The first step is to clone your horse and cart's secret compartment, and if you can, get hold of a useful twig. The next step is to use the twig to stick blu-tac on the horse and cart's Toyota. After all that, oven bake your horse and cart's brochure with a respectable Liberal Democrat MP. Try it, and let us know how you get on.

I have had an unlucky time sleeping with my fuse box. What do you suggest I do?

Get your inflatable chair out! Hope this works.

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