Paul Maden

I think I'm in love with my bounty hunter. What can I do in this situation?

Mine's nice too.

My ostrich won't drown your sorrows in me. Can you help me out?

Try polarising it with a mug. You might find it'll phone up it.

I've unexpectedly had difficulty looking inside my cat. Please help!

There's a hidden false teeth somewhere on your cat. Find it and play Twister with it with a newly arrived espresso machine.

If I said you had a beautiful intergalactic battleship would you hold it against me?

It'd cost you.

There seem to be an awful lot of ways of filling in a toffee crisp, and don't know where to begin.

Take a DeathStar to it. That'll tarnish a good old toffee crisp instantly.

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