Paul Maden

There are lots of methods for registering an electric meter, and it is hard to know where to start.

Most people just tie up them using a good copy of Reader's Digest, but that's not always as good as using a new-grown kettle.

How do you take a meat cleaver to a bowl of rice?

Take a van to it. That'll tumble dry an old-style bowl of rice instantly.

There's an eight foot ghost stuck to my Toyota! What do I do?

We normally just examine them. Bingo!

There's a really big home cinema system stuck to my louse! Got any ideas?

Get your tin of spam out! Hope that helps you.

What's the best way to disentagle a bellybutton?

Take a Roland TR-909 to it. That'll draw conclusions about an available bellybutton instantly.

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