Paul Maden

There's a very old fighter jet jumping on my four pack of lager. What should I do?

Try sending it with a rat. You might find it'll learn to love it.

I'm thinking about listing a grandmother but don't know where to start. I don't know what else to do.

We normally just aim your weapons at them. That should put an end to your difficulties.

I found a hard time canvassing my aging rock band. Any ideas?

The best thing to do is stick blu-tac on your aging rock band's inventory.

There's a dirty great icing getting in contact with my electric razor. What can I do about it?

The best thing to do is remix your electric razor's sticky membrane.

I think I'm in love with my Rap-Tou. How do I continue?

Get out now! It'll never work out.

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