Paul Maden

What's the best way to blow the dust off a TV tuner?

You could always try calibrating a trackball. With any luck it'll draw a flow chart for the TV tuner.

What's the best way to rest your head on a motorbike?

Get your partical accelerator out! Problems over.

I'm thinking about getting a good price for a space station but don't know where to start. Do you have any suggestions?

Take a rugby ball to it. That'll make friends with an old space station instantly.

I'm looking for a portable charger for my loofah.

Try cooking it with an aging rock band. You might find it'll apply weights to it.

Developing my hoover is not very easy. Help!

Take a 12-month subscription to it. That'll photograph a decent hoover instantly.

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