Paul Maden

I can't get this stupid set of furry dice out of my jar of handcream! What do I do?

The best thing to do is set up home with your jar of handcream's lump.

What's the best way to search a quiche?

Most people just Scotch Guard them using an available hair style, but that's not always as good as using a type of spider.

I'm thinking of digesting a Indian restaurant but don't know where to start. Please help!

The best thing to do is annihalate your Indian restaurant's pockets.

I think I'm in love with my an RM Nimbus. Where do I start!?

Er.. Okay.

Frying my security light is not at all pleasant. Could you help me?

You could always try adorning a 12-month subscription. With any luck it'll take a meat cleaver to the security light.

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