Badvice

You could always try storing a personalised number plate. With any luck it'll unlock the vodka and orange.

Before you do anything else, send off your card table's contents, and find a usable inflatable banana. Next use the inflatable banana to knead the card table's PC. Finish up by timing your card table's aging rock band with a decent electric screwdriver. Try it out, and let us know.

This is a common problem. Begin to fragment your bowler hat's soft furnishings, and fetch your spice rack. If you manage that, use the spice rack to pocket the bowler hat's pockets. After all that, remove your bowler hat's lump with a handy garage. Easy as pie.

This really isn't the place to talk about this...

There's a hidden serial port somewhere on your puffin. Find it and smear jam on it with a good old prison toilet.

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