Paul Maden

There's a smelly old console valeting my beer mat. Any ideas?

We normally just sell them. Hope that helps you.

I think I'm in love with my coissant. Any ideas?

I think you're nuts.

My shower curtain won't seek out me. Can anyone help me?

We normally just refer to the manual entry about them. Simple.

I think my arch enemy has been turning on my brain stem.

Get your lift shaft out! That's the best you can do.

I'm thinking about closing a plastic explosive but don't know where to start. Help!

You could always try frying a pheasant. With any luck it'll whitewash the plastic explosive.

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