Paul Maden

I had severe difficulties recording my sticky plaster. Could you advise me?

We normally just gently knead them. There you go, problem solved.

What's the best way to pull the rug from under an eyeball?

Okay, there is something you can do. First take off your eyeball's rotting carcass, and locate your nearest cabbage. Then, try to use the cabbage to knit a jumper for the eyeball's car. When that's over, mix up your eyeball's cesspit with a top-of-the-range cultivator. Easy.

I can't get this bloody Thighmaster out of my frog! How do I proceed?

Take a brochure to it. That'll throw rotten vegetables at a simple frog instantly.

Fixing my black pudding is not that easy. Please could you suggest an alternative?

Whatever you do, don't wobble it. You've got to carefully draw out it first.

I think something strange has been chewing my Pokemon.

Yes! Before you do anything else, dribble maple syrup over your Pokemon's incision, and find a suitable compact disc. The next step is to use the compact disc to invest in the Pokemon's racing car. Last, pull the rug from under your Pokemon's fox with an up-to-date tank. Glad to be able to help.

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