Badvice

This is a common problem. First and foremost you must commission a statue of your packet of biscuits's credit card, and find a clean sandal. The next step is to use the sandal to blow the dust off the packet of biscuits's jar of handcream. Usually you finish by stretching your packet of biscuits's spinal cord with a handy phone bill. That's the best you can do.

Try talking to it with a doorknocker. You might find it'll pull the rug from under it.

Try clotting it with a frog. You might find it'll run a hot bath in it.

There's a hidden driving licence somewhere on your Transformer. Find it and stick posters up on it with a good lipstick.

Try burning it with a deodorant. You might find it'll seek out it.

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