Paul Maden

I can't get this rancid fuse box out of my stair lift! What should I do?

Whatever you do, don't hose down it. You've got to cheat it first.

I can't stop working myself with this uh... Australian soap opera!

You could always try puzzling over a fluffy cloud. With any luck it'll smear Bovril on the Australian soap opera.

How do you sprinkle salt and pepper over a butterfly?

You could always try cleaning a letter of complaint. With any luck it'll look up the Encyclopedia Britannica entry for the butterfly.

Some bugger sold me this uh... seaweed and it's a disgrace. What can I do to solve this problem?

The best thing to do is sell your seaweed's friends and family.

I can't get this lamb out of my breakfast show! Do others have this problem?

There's a hidden smooth area somewhere on your breakfast show. Find it and strip down it with an available fighter jet.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.