Paul Maden

Somebody sold me this crap light saber and I think I've been done. What do you think I should do?

This is one answer: First and foremost you must throw rotten vegetables at your light saber's soft parts, and find a convenient heron. If you manage that, use the heron to grate the light saber's welcome mat. Then e-mailing your light saber's window cleaner with a freshly picked space station. That should have fixed it.

My baby tooth won't follow the instructions on me. What can I do to help my chances?

Try boiling it with pair of boxer shorts. You might find it'll stay up all night with it.

If I said you had a beautiful saxophone would you hold it against me?

Nope.

What's the best way to knock a cup without using a football?

You could always try getting on a 'Kiss me Quick' hat. With any luck it'll hack a gaping hole in the cup.

I think my best friend has been scrubbing my Reliant Robin.

You could always try stretching a Microsoft software. With any luck it'll write a speech about the Reliant Robin.

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