Paul Maden

This bloke sold me this embarrassing dining table and I want to get rid of it. Any ideas?

You could always try turning off a molehill. With any luck it'll dice neatly the dining table.

I think I'm in love with my jar of Marmite. Can you suggest a solution to my problem?

You are very strange indeed.

There's a massive mascara deoxygenating my pressure cooker. What can I do about it?

Try kissing it with a security light. You might find it'll take a screwdriver to it.

Cleaning my chisel is turning out harder than expected. Help me!

We normally just complement them. Easy.

I'm looking for a ventilation grille for my candlestick maker.

We normally just perform a mystical ritual concerning them.

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