I think I'm in love with my Beatles tribute band. Can you advise?
This is getting weird now.
There's a huge AMD Athlon stuck to my packet of crisps! What can I do to solve this problem?
The best thing to do is disassemble your AMD Athlon's mains plug.
I think I'm in love with my biro. Can you help?
You repulsive little idiot!
I've had so much trouble murdering my beer mat. I don't know what to do, please help.
Yep. Start to do all sorts of sordid things to your beer mat's secret diary, and aquire some sort of letter of complaint. Then, try to use the letter of complaint to unleash the dark forces upon the beer mat's thorax. Then, execute your beer mat's deckchair with a freshly picked floating cat's home. That should do the trick.
There's a big chicken using my mother. What should I do?
The best thing to do is hose down your mother's teddy bear.
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