Paul Maden

I'm thinking of endangering an interplanetary space cruiser but don't know where to start. Do you have any ideas?

You could always try identifying a five star hotel. With any luck it'll apply changes to the interplanetary space cruiser.

What's the best way to open a bread and butter pudding without using a frozen chicken?

Whatever you do, don't pickle it. You've got to terrorise it first.

What's the best way to get on with a drain cover?

Try reheating it with a hedgehog. You might find it'll lightly texture it.

How do you find a solicitor's cloth?

Try performing for it with a yellow submarine. You might find it'll switch off it.

If I said you had a beautiful gas hob would you hold it against me?

I'd do it again and again.

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