What would you say to some quite dreadful computer-generated advice?
Guaranteed not to help. And that's a guarantee* [citation-needed]
If I said you had a beautiful lamp post would you hold it against me?
No thankyou
Carrying my Ken Hom wok set is much harder than I thought. I don't know what to do, please help.
You could always try defrosting a textured ceiling. With any luck it'll dig away at the Ken Hom wok set.
What's the best way to pour gravy into a toilet?
We've come across this problem several times before. First and foremost you must take a meat cleaver to your toilet's thorax, and shout out for some sort of cake. Next use the cake to hypnotise the toilet's wash basin. Finish up by wiping your toilet's greetings card with a good tiger. Keep trying!
I think my arch enemy has been valeting my Fillet 'o fish.
Whatever you do, don't seek out it. You've got to wrap some cling film round it first.
There's a very old Stealth bomber storing my cow. What should I do?
Yep. Start to make a small incision in your cow's possessions, and fetch a suitable postcard. Then, use the postcard to examine the cow's pot roast. Then, smear fingerprints all over your cow's phone bill with an up-to-date pot roast. Try it out, and let us know.
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