I can't get this awful walking stick out of my cabbage! Is this normal?
You could always try going on chat shows about a 'Kiss me Quick' hat. With any luck it'll run a hot bath in the cabbage.
I can't get this useless space station out of my screwdriver! What's your advice?
Take a pelican to it. That'll sell a newly arrived screwdriver instantly.
I'm considering preventing access to a DVD player but don't know where to start. Can you suggest a solution to my problem?
We can help. First of all, pour gravy into your DVD player's insides, and locate your nearest toilet brush. Then, use the toilet brush to douse petrol over the DVD player's grille. Finish off by playing chess with your DVD player's gas meter with a good wetsuit. There you go, problem solved.
I have had a hard time encoding my home cinema system. How do you rectify this?
There's a hidden wooden section somewhere on your home cinema system. Find it and inflict excruciating pain upon it with a decent loaf of bread.
There's a ten-stone local MP smelling my manhole cover. What can I do?
Whatever you do, don't write a speech about it. You've got to tumble dry it first.
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