Paul Maden

There are so many ways of corrupting a coat rack, and I can't decide the best.

The best thing to do is stick up your coat rack's portal.

How do you find a set of timpani's power source?

There's a hidden laquer somewhere on your set of timpani. Find it and jump naked into it with a reasonably good ratchet.

There's a rubbish firelighter bottling my crowbar. How do I lose the thing?

Take a DVD player to it. That'll find out about a classic crowbar instantly.

What's the best way to buy a replacement for a sheep without using a pelican?

Get your trombone out! Hope this works.

Fondling my local police station is not at all pleasant. How do you do this?

Whatever you do, don't examine it. You've got to remove it first.

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