What would you say to some quite dreadful computer-generated advice?
Guaranteed not to help. And that's a guarantee* [citation-needed]
What's the best way to climb into a fiend?
This is one solution. First tell stories around the camp fire about your fiend's physiology, and take steps towards aquiring a reqistered hedge trimmer. Following that, use the hedge trimmer to visit the grandparents of the fiend's cymbal. You could finish by magnetising your fiend's brass knob with a reasonably good balti. That should be enough to get you going.
Some dodgy guy sold me this damn duck and it's crap. What can I do to solve this problem?
The best thing to do is use a saw on your duck's large hump.
This b*stard sold me this b*stard nasal hair and it's a fake. What can I do?
You could always try stripping down a grouse. With any luck it'll purify the nasal hair.
I had difficulties masticating my drawing pin. How do you do this?
That's easy. First stick blu-tac on your drawing pin's secret weapon, and look for a nearby little finger. Then, use the little finger to drain cabbage into the drawing pin's student halls of residence. With that done, creep quietly up to your drawing pin's Van de Graaf generator with a simple shampoo. Bingo!
How do you have a sleepover inside a pillow?
Most people just apply weights to them using a sterile dictaphone, but that's not always as good as using a newly arrived parrot.
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