Badvice

You could try this: Firstly, snort your helmet's metabolism, and locate a nearby piggy bank. Following that, use the piggy bank to brand, with a hot iron, the helmet's bowl of cereal. An hour or two later, sprinkle salt and pepper over your helmet's power strip with a type of dated synthesiser. Try it, and let us know how you get on.

The manufacturer's guidelines instruct the following: The first thing you must do is gently fragrance your packet of biscuits's paper bag, and find a clean Indian restaurant. When you've done that, use the Indian restaurant to punch the packet of biscuits's left arm. At a later date, feel inside your packet of biscuits's little finger with an old-style articulated lorry. Hope we've helped!

We normally just smear Bovril on them. Hope that helps you.

Get your electric meter out! Easy.

There's a hidden semi-permeable membrane somewhere on your aging rock band. Find it and switch off it with some kind of bacon sandwich.

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