Paul Maden

I'm looking for a left-hand edge for my interplanetary space cruiser.

Try learning the first thing about it with a cross-channel ferry. You might find it'll drag out it.

I've heard so many methods for depolarising a log, and don't know where to begin.

There's a hidden abdomen somewhere on your log. Find it and dig away at it with a reasonably good Martini and lemonade.

I can't get this blasted sewer out of my Reliant Robin! Do you think it'll go away?

Get your cheese single out! We haven't tried this, but it should work.

How do you find a craft knife's ventilation grille?

Get your magic lamp out! That should do it.

I can't get this rancid red herring out of my finger! Can I do anything?

There's a hidden physiology somewhere on your finger. Find it and take nude photographs of it with a decent ankle.

Badvice On Demand…

You want more? No problem. Click the button below for extra Badvice.