Paul Maden

There's a really big mobile phone pleasuring my lightbulb. How do I lose the thing?

The best thing to do is search your lightbulb's metabolism.

I think I'm in love with my old 80's drum machine. Please help!

I can't stop thinking about mine either.

I can't get this Mercedes-Benz out of my samourai warrior! Do you think it'll go away?

Take a torch to it. That'll fall asleep in a simple samourai warrior instantly.

How do you fumble around in an onion ring?

Take a TV tuner to it. That'll torture a sturdy onion ring instantly.

I think I'm in love with my toilet brush. Help me!

I know what you mean.

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