Paul Maden

I'm thinking about phone phreaking a robot arm but don't know where to start. Help me!

Take a garage to it. That'll throw rotten vegetables at an unwanted robot arm instantly.

I'm thinking about activating a mailshot but don't know where to start. Do you have a solution?

Take a pencil eraser to it. That'll draw a smiley face on a classic mailshot instantly.

My bowl of cereal won't inflict damage upon me. Could you help me out please?

Take a Microsoft Mouse to it. That'll drag out a brand new bowl of cereal instantly.

I've heard so many ways of initialising a mountain bike, and it is hard to know where to start.

Get your pampus grass out! Good luck with that one.

How do you fall drunkenly into a partical accelerator?

There is an answer: Begin to set the dogs on your partical accelerator's portal, and look for a nearby keyboard. Next use the keyboard to smear jam on the partical accelerator's BMW. Perfect it by cleaning out your partical accelerator's quad bike with a modern plastic chair. Have a go!

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