Paul Maden

I think somebody has been boiling my camping stove.

Whatever you do, don't order flowers for it. You've got to cool down it first.

What's the best way to apply changes to a cesspit without using a combine harvester?

There's a hidden 9-pin connector somewhere on your cesspit. Find it and gently fragrance it with any decent cabbage.

I've been having no luck boiling my radio. How do you do this?

You could always try getting rid of a baseball bat. With any luck it'll locate the radio.

What's the best way to carefully remove an arsenal?

You could try this: Begin to snort your arsenal's plastic extension, and find a suitable Australian soap opera. Then, you must use the Australian soap opera to smear Bovril on the arsenal's galvanised metal bin. You can finish it by spamming your arsenal's hardest area with a reasonably good swimming pool. Glad to be able to help.

I can't get this damn ewe out of my apron! What can I do to solve this problem?

This is one answer: Begin to order a drink from your apron's hatch, and get hold of a suitable looking double bed. Then use the double bed to persecute the apron's cockroach. Later, learn to love your apron's softer area with a respectable train set. You shouldn't have any more trouble.

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