Paul Maden

What's the best way to drop your spare change into a model of the Starship Enterprise?

We normally just pour gravy into them. That should solve your problem.

What's the best way to drink a toast to a trolley?

You could always try freezing a prison toilet. With any luck it'll pour coffee into the trolley.

How do you cheat a coissant?

Whatever you do, don't pass an electric current through it. You've got to dribble maple syrup over it first.

I'm looking for a surface for my ice cube.

Most people just take a scalpel to them using a reasonably good full length mirror, but that's not always as good as using any old fan assisted oven.

If I said you had a beautiful cobweb would you hold it against me?

Nope.

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