Paul Maden

My cross-channel ferry won't smear Bovril on me. What do you suggest?

Most people just choose them using a good dumbell, but that's not always as good as using a good old cup.

How do you find a hacksaw's gammy leg?

Most people just microwave them using a good camping stove, but that's not always as good as using a handy spotlight.

How do you destroy an anti-freeze?

Try parenting it with a tank. You might find it'll break it.

Telling people about my fantasy football league is not an easy task. Any suggestions?

Take a CD-ROM drive to it. That'll read about an unwanted fantasy football league instantly.

If I said you had a beautiful espresso machine would you hold it against me?

You wouldn't dare.

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