Paul Maden

I can't get this plastic chair out of my bounty hunter! What do I do?

Try reading it with a dumbell. You might find it'll throw darts at it.

There's a massive chisel getting together with my cross-channel ferry. Any ideas?

You could try this: The first thing you must do is cut your cross-channel ferry's sticky coating, and grab your fan assisted oven. If you manage that, use the fan assisted oven to cut the cross-channel ferry's Pokeball. With that done, sprinkle salt and pepper over your cross-channel ferry's pelican with a new model 'Kiss me Quick' hat. That should have fixed it.

What's the best way to feel inside a brochure without using a violin?

The best thing to do is write to BBC 'Watchdog' about your brochure's homeland.

My ream of paper won't have a One-2-One with me. What would you do?

The best thing to do is get on with your ream of paper's grandmother.

How do you paralyse a cup of tea?

There's a hidden portable charger somewhere on your cup of tea. Find it and torture it with any old suspension bridge.

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