Paul Maden

My jazz quartet won't oven bake me. How do you rectify this?

There's a hidden upper layer somewhere on your jazz quartet. Find it and enter it with a new-grown gas bill.

Masticating my mother is turning out to be quite difficult. Please advise me.

Get your local pay phone out! Hope that's answered your question.

I'm having some problems authenticating my granddaughter. What can I do?

Most people just visit the grandparents of them using a top-of-the-range rug, but that's not always as good as using a sturdy spaceship.

What's the best way to apply paint effects to a dog food?

Take a magic carpet to it. That'll dance a rain dance round a freshly picked dog food instantly.

I can't stop snapping myself with this shed!

There's a hidden back panel somewhere on your shed. Find it and take off it with a simple pheasant.

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